See us, hear us, and let us be us!

By Shelby Worthington-Little

As we progress through our lives, we seem to always be in a particular compartment. We are daughters, we are wives, we are mothers, we are grandmothers, and we are widows. We love, we bring new life into the world, we pass along with our experiences, and we grieve when we have a loss. We are never quite defined by ourselves but always defined by others. The angry Black woman seems to be the one that fits the best for some reason. It fits into all the compartments of the life they have given to us. Even when we explain that the expression on our face does not match what we are feeling inside, others choose not to believe us.  We are never given the benefit of doubt. If we express an original thought or plan at work, then we must have learned it from someone else. If we want things to be a certain way, then we are being uptight (as if that is a bad thing for a Black woman to be). The extremely sad part is that disrespect towards the Black woman comes from all parts of the universe. What I mean by that is, it sometimes comes from Black men, along with white men and white women. Everyone takes a shot at us whenever they can.  

Black women must always be better than or up above those around us, but there cannot be too many of us in the same boat. If a Black woman is going to reach the glass ceiling of her profession, she better be the only one in that department vying for that position. I am not quite sure where I’m going with this. It’s not exactly where I thought my mind was at, but it’s where I was led. I am constantly reminded that the business world is the worst category. No matter what the circumstances are we must be professional, show no weakness ever. We cannot show emotions, we always have to be on! If you feel yourself getting teary-eyed, you have no choice but to suck it up and wait until you can excuse yourself.  Find an isolated situation to shed your tears, because you cannot let anyone else see you in that state of vulnerability. This situation is a woman's problem, but it’s a Black woman's life issue. Non-Black women seem to be able to maneuver around a lot better than us, because no one is focusing on the color of their skin or their hairstyle of choice.

See us as we see us! Black women are women. We have strength, we have emotions, we have intelligence, we have generations of experience, and we have faith. Each one of us brings something different to the conversation. We represent all aspects of the human phenomenon. We want to share ourselves with the people that are on the same spectrum as we are. We want to love and achieve as others do. We want your first impression to be based on our personality and not the color of our skin. We want to be perceived in the same manner that we perceive you. We get to know you and we decide if you are worthy of being in our orbit. Black women are always forgiving, always managing to stay longer in circumstances that are not to our benefit, and always giving others the benefit of the doubt. We just ask that you let us define us. We are here and we are not going away. We just ask that you make it a little easier to exist and to communicate with you.  

It seems to be the year of the Black woman, but I’m not quite sure that’s a correct assumption.  We are making history every day and moving in circles that were not afforded to us before. We are tired of making history, we just want to make the cut. We are always up for a challenge, but just ease up a little on us. Let us be respectfully, unapologetically and enthusiastically - us!